Facing Illness with Equanimity

Vol. 25, No.7, 2 July, 2015

 

In the last newsletter we read about Sri Tandonji’s commendable equanimity in dealing with cancer. On the same subject Goenkaji gives guidance at a similar, critical juncture in a student’s life. In 1995 a Vipassana meditator was twice operated on for thyroid cancer. She was healed but remained fearful as she had heard that the disease had a high chance of recurrence. What if it came back? She met Goenkaji and was deeply influenced by the guidance she received at that time. Given here is the conversation between Goenkaji and her, as recorded by her husband.

Q. Mrs: I have undergone two surgeries for cancer Guruji.

Goenkaji: My daughter, so you have cancer, it is ok. One has to learn to face it.

Q. Mrs: Guruji, I am afraid, though I know this should not be so.

Goenkaji: Because the understanding has not deepened. Whenever you feel anxious and fearful just observe it – ‘Oh fear has arisen, now let me watch what sensations it brings’. At that time the sensations that arise will be linked to and filled with fear. Observe that. A part of the mind will be rolling in that fear, yet another part will be aware of sensations. Maybe just 5% of the mind will be aware, the remaining 95% will be rolling in fear, yet that 5% is powerful enough to cut the roots of the fear.

If the mind rolls fully 100% in fear then indeed the fear will multiply. At least this much we must learn from Vipassana; that we must strengthen a portion of our mind sufficiently for it to witness fear. There is an ailment and we worry over its outcome. We watch this worry and we watch the sensations being generated. Sensations and worry, we observe this again and again.

We also know that these sensations are always changing, they are impermanent. So also the worry is ephemeral, it will not stay forever. If we continue to watch with this understanding, then the worry starts weakening until it all dissolves. The whole world says that we should not worry, but if we only understand this intellectually and do not witness it as Vipassana teaches us to, then there is little difference between us and the world.

Q. Mrs: This worry is what is happening within.

Goenkaji: Please understand this well, my daughter. I was told that your cancer has been removed with surgical intervention, then why are you worried? You have received this profound teaching of Vipassana. Now use it. Whenever fear overpowers you, see what sensations are arising. Sensations are arising continuously, you know that. It is not important when fear overpowers to travel head to toe observing sensations. Wherever the sensations arise, clear and well defined, just understand, ‘Oh! There is this sensation and it is so ephemeral, anicca’. Worry has arisen, and that too is anicca. Understand, ‘It has nothing to do with me. I am unaffected, just observing’.

The connection between mind and body is deep. Whatever arises strongly in the mind will generate and get connected to the bodily sensations. Any sensation felt on the body is also linked to the mind. We are not able to be aware with equanimity of the thought that has arisen in the mind and is inevitably linked to the body, as we have not matured enough in meditation to experience arisen worry or fear as pure worry or fear. This only occurs at higher levels of meditation.

So we just accept that fear has arisen, and 95% of the mind is rolling in it, though 5% of the mind is able to watch sensation even if only briefly. Just be aware of the sensation and know its ephemeral nature. So also know that arisen fear too is very temporary. See how long it stays. And as you keep watching, its power will continue to weaken till fear finally dissolves. Many times we can see a calamity approaching. An event will likely occur externally which will damage something dear to us. Immediately the fear will arise, ‘What will happen now’? The event will occur later but the fear has already enveloped us.

Sensation starts as soon as a seed is planted. This is the law of nature. Seed and fruit both give rise to sensation and though the fruit is yet to take shape the sensation has already arisen and we start watching it. This observation weakens the event to come so that when it occurs it will turn light like a flower petal. Awareness with equanimity weakens it. A non meditator on the other hand is unaware and indulges in worry which strengthens the fruit that has to come. Do not strengthen the unwanted event through lack of awareness. Do not walk backwards.

Q Mrs: I feel guilty that I am not fulfilling my responsibility.

Q Mr: She is worried about the children.

Guruji: The thought of fulfilling your responsibilities is only in your mind. Maybe you were fulfilling them earlier but now as you allow your mind to weaken, it does not remain capable of performing its duties. Do not allow your mind to weaken.

The law of nature is very delicate and once it is understood it should be applied. How? When you know that the results of an event will be good, pleasant sensations will follow. The event will occur later, but its sensation will be felt before any visible manifestation of the event. Similarly, if an unhappy event is to take place, then unpleasant sensations will be felt. If we are an established meditator, we will know that if unpleasant sensations are arising, then some unhappy event may be around the corner. If these sensations are observed with equanimity, then its power will weaken and it will bear a weakened result, like a flower, light and soft. On the other hand if we become weak, then the impending fruit may come and fall heavily like a sword. Strengthen the mind.

Q. Mr: She is afraid that the children will have to serve her in case she falls very ill. This churns in her heart.

Goenkaji: Thinking about this constantly is inviting this eventuality. There is a story. A man is sitting under a wish fulfilling (Kalpavriksha) tree. He gets whatever he wishes for. However his wishes come at random. He thinks what if a lion comes and it happens. Then he thinks, the lion will eat me up, and it happens! So, my daughter, you are sitting under a wish fulfilling tree, ask and you will receive. Moreover, if you are asking for the wrong things then how can you hope to receive happy tidings?

It is agreed that the mind is weak; and so 95% of it is going in an undesirable direction. You are not a ripe meditator, but you will ripen with time and then will realize the true import of what I am telling you just now. You will then realize how misguided your thinking was. Until then, unless you use at least 5% of your mind to mature in your practice, you are not going in the right direction. Even a raw meditator who has freshly entered the path is able to focus at least 5% of his or her mind on observing sensations even if the remaining 95% is wandering and rolling. That 5% is powerful enough to cut the roots of our mental impurity.

You too are cutting the roots, though it seems like the tree canopy is growing and spreading. A time will come when the tree will fall down. Have no fear now that you have entered the path of Vipassana as a result of immense past paramis.

Do you know that my mother was suffering from terminal cancer? Doctors said to her that she must be in severe pain, and offered her some pain killers or injections. But my mother said, ‘That will not be required as I have learnt to observe objectively’. She left her body smiling calmly. Your situation is not as bad, so why are you worried?

Q. Mr: She is more worried about others.

Goenkaji: That means you are creating a future that has not yet been created. Lord Buddha said: Atta hi attano natho; Atta hi attano gati, meaning: you are your own master; you create your own destiny. We are our own masters and write our own future. Then why do you create an unhappy future for yourself? You have received such profound teachings of the Buddha, so carve out a happy, wholesome future. In fact come out of all the past and future and walk on the path to Nibbāna.

Whenever despondency and hopelessness arise, develop awareness of sensations, and the cause of their arising. You do not need to go into details; though part of mind may start analyzing, do not go into it consciously.

Work on the sensations with awareness and stop worrying. These sensations are connected to the very depths of the mind, which means that if our mind gets established in equanimity, then we are getting established in equanimity at the root level. The surface level of the mind is reactive and it is making us unhappy. But the other part is watching these very roots and helping us to come out of our miseries. This is the way out of misery.

There are many types of sadhanas in the world but these do not offer the profound reality of sensations. They work to a degree at the surface level of the mind and to that extent are good. The mind is diverted, relieving it of an unbearable pain. Let us say that if we are followers of the Buddha and we start chanting Buddha, Buddha, or if we are Jains and chant Mahavir’s name, then this will divert our attention and so alleviate the suffering in the mind. But only the surface, conscious level of the mind will get diverted. The mind working at the sub conscious level or deeper root level is continuing the same reactive process and creating new sankharas of misery.

It is a huge blessing that you are able to work at cleansing the mind at the root level. Without this the mind cannot be fully purified. After receiving this profound teaching of the Buddha which shows us the way out of fear, there can be no room for anxiety. Come out of it.

Meditate with me for a while now.

Good, good, do not fear, you will be fully healed. You have a large bank balance of paramis and you are on the path of Dhamma. How many people are searching but have not found the path to salvation. You have received it due to your past paramis. Dhamma is very powerful and you have taken refuge in it, and that Dhamma will protect you.

Otherwise who are you to protect your children? Even if you are alive, what protection can you offer your children? What is your strength? Just as Dhamma, potent and powerful, protects you; it also protects your children. Its power is incomparable. Offer total surrender to Dhamma and know that it can only do good.

But you must continue your practice as there are no miracles. You must work hard. Observe sensations of fear instead of rolling in them. It is not necessary to always sit in a corner with closed eyes. Watch your mind even as you are doing now, with open eyes. One part of the mind continues to be aware of fear or anxiety as it arises, while the other part is aware of sensations as they arise. Do the same while sleeping at night. Results will only be good. Human beings tend to be weak. You must be strong with the power of Dhamma as you take refuge in it.

Q. Mrs: How can we cut kammas that are to come, by Vipassana?

Goenkaji: Just as it has been explained. When kamma ripens it brings its fruit. Before the fruit comes, the sensation comes. If we weaken the inevitable fruit by observing the sensations then the fruit that comes will be weaker. Otherwise it would have come large and ripe, filled with bitterness or sweetness as the case may be. Now we have demolished it by cutting at the roots. We cannot forget the fundamental law of kamma, that no one else can remove our kamma. To dream that some guru or anyone else will remove it for us someday is to live with false hope.

Q. Mrs: Perhaps we are unable to cut our kamma, but we face it bravely and bear its fruit with resilience.

Goenkaji: This is what we are doing. The fruit of kamma that would have come along with unbearable suffering has come as a sensation and we dissolve it by observing it with equanimity; thus becoming free with very little suffering. This is the rare and supreme gift of the Buddha. He discovered where the starting point of kamma was and gave us this knowledge. Fruits of all our kamma will come inevitably. If we start watching sensations as soon as they arise, then when the fruit does come, it will be a weak fruit with no strength or power.

Even when a difficult and a particularly large fruit ripens it will cease to affect us. We will accept it smilingly, knowing that as kammas bringing unhappiness have borne fruit, so also kammas bringing happiness will bear fruit. We must remain steadfast with equanimity and fearless in both situations.

In my life also a major fruit of kamma came in all its bitterness. Large businesses, properties and riches were taken over by the government overnight, without our knowledge. Though we remained steadfast and grounded in Dhamma, we would have been better equipped to deal with it if we had been forewarned. We would have worked at weakening its impact. However that did not happen; never mind as we gained more time and opportunity to ripen in Dhamma.

May you both be happy and continue to grow in Dhamma.

 

V.R.I. Academic Schedule - 2015, Global Pagoda Campus, Mumbai.

1. Translation Workshop (10th Aug to 17th Aug)
2. Research Methodology Workshop (15th Nov to 19th Nov) (Open to non-meditators also) Please find Eligibility Criteria for above courses on the http://www.vridhamma.org/Theory-And-Practice-Courses
3. Diploma Course on the teachings of the Buddha, Vipassana theory and practice.

Vipassana Research Institute (VRI) and Mumbai University jointly conduct this Diploma course on theoretical and practical aspects of the Buddha’s teachings, and practical application of Vipassana in various fields. Application forms are available from 6th July to 17th July 2015 from Mon to Fri between 11.30 am to 2.30 pm at Philosophy Department, Jnaneshwar Bhavan, Mumbai University, Kalina, Santacruz (E).Mumbai - 400098. Tel 022-26527337. Duration of course is from 18th July, 2015, till March end 2016. Classes- every Saturday 2:30 to 6:30 pm. Eligibility: Min. 12th pass. It will be compulsory to sit a Vipassana course during the Diwali vacation. For more information contact: 1) VRI office 022-33747560, 2) Mrs. Baljit Lamba - 09833518979, 3) Miss Rajshree - 09004698648

Children's Meditation Courses in Mumbai

Date: 26-7, 23-8, 20-9, 18-10, 15-11, 20-12.
(Age 10 to 16 Only)
Registration before Course Thursday and Friday

Place: Goregaon

Date	Course site	Age (years)	Registration
First Sunday	Dombivili	10-16	2 days befor Course
First Sunday	Ulhasnagar	10-16	2 days before Course
Seond Sunday	Sanpada	10-16	2 days befor Course
Seond Sunday	Andheri	10-16	2 days befor Course
Third Sunday	Ghatkopar	10-16	2 days befor Course
Fourth Sunday	Airoli	10-16	2 days befor Course

 

“Please call or send a text sms message with the name & age of the child two days in advance for registration”

Course Timing: 8:30 am to 2:30 pm. Registration Timing: 11 am to 1 pm on the specified numbers and dates for each location. Course Venues: Goregaon: Vipassana Counselling and Research Centre, Siddharth Municipal General Hospital, Goregaon (W), Mob. 98924-15803, Tel: 2624-2025. Dombivili: K B Vira HighSchool, Near Muncipal Office, Dombivali (E) Mob. 9930301594. Ulhasnagar: 703-A Block /1405, Gokul Nagar, Behind Netaji School, Near Mahesh Granite, Tel. 9970755130, Sanpada: Navi Mumbai Mahanagar Palika School, Sector 5, Sanpaada. Tel: 7738649821, 9699862322, 9223300575, Andheri: Mayfair Meridian Meditation Hall, Ceaser Road, Off S.V. Road, Amboli, Near St. Blaise Ghatkopar: SNDT School, New Building, Cama Lane, Ghatkopar (W), Opp Vidyut Society, Mumbai 400086. Tel: 25011096, 25162505. Airoli: Saraswati School, Sector 5, Airoli, Mob. 9892565765. Church Andheri, Mob. 99674-80865, 99306-78532.

Please call two days in advance for registration. NB *Please bring cushion. *Please register on the specified phone numbers. If unable to attend after registration, please inform in advance. *Please arrive on time for the course.

ADDITIONAL RESPONSIBILITIES

1-2. Mr. Rajesh & Mrs. Manisha Mehta, To serve as centre teacher for Dhamma Pali, Palitana
3-4. Dr. Shankarrao Deore, To serve as centre teacher for Dhamma Sarovar, Dhule
5. Mrs. Chandrikaben Kamdar, To assist centre teacher in serving Dhamma Pali, Palitana
6. Mrs. Indu Shah, To assist centre teacher in serving Dhamma Pali, Palitana
7. Mr. Chandrashekhar Datye, To assist area teacher in serving Solapur, Satara & Phaltan
8. Ms. Pawinee Boonkasemsanti, To serve as centre teacher for Dhamma Kamala, Thailand
9. Mrs. Naron Ear, To serve as centre teacher for Dhamma Kamboja, Cambodia

NEW RESPONSIBILITIES

Senior Assistant Teachers

1. Mr. Kishor Ranwala, Gandhidham
2. Mrs. Veena Ranwala, Gandhidham
3. Mrs. Chetana Sanghvi , Bhuj
4. Mrs. Rambha Bhudiya, Madhapar
5. Mrs. Alice Pan, Taiwan
6. Mrs. Hsiu-Yueh Weng, Taiwan
7. Mrs. Jui-Mei Hsieh, Taiwan
8. Mr. Ying-Mao Lin, Taiwan
9. Ms. Huey-Chyong Loo, Malaysia

New appointment Children course teachers

1.Mr. Bhaskar Bhattar, Bhopal
2. Mrs. Manju Mahendu, Bhopal
3. Dr. Bharti Gupta, Bhopal
4. Mrs. Indra Gedam, Bhopal
5. Mrs. Roshni Gujre, Bhopal
6. Mr. Avinash Mandraha, Bhopal
7. Mr. Ramesh kumar Pawar, Betul
8. Mr. Susangh Kumar Gautam, Shivpuri
9. Mrs. Manju Rathi, Vidisha
10. Miss Savita Beria, Mumbai
11. Mr. Kapil Malhotra, Mumbai 12-13. Mr. Jivatram (Gul) & Mrs. Anju Chandiramani, Dubai
14. Mrs. Vinita Lakhi, Dubai 15-16. Mr.Gunadasa & Mrs. Menike S. Pathirana, Sri Lanka
17. Mrs. Sarojini SK Attanayake, Sri Lanka
18. Mrs. BM Chandrawathie, Sri Lanka
19. Mrs. Indira Ariyaratane, Sri Lanka
20-21. Mr. AMT Bandara & Mrs. G. Sujani Kalpana, Sri Lanka
22. Mr. A. G. Jayaweera de Silva, Sri Lanka
23. Miss V.B. Dilhani Madhushikha, Sri Lanka
24. Miss S. Laxmi Padmasiri, Sri Lanka
25. Mrs. Thamara Jayasinghe, Sri Lanka
26. Mr. Eric Uduwawela, Sri Lanka
27. Mrs. Zheng Li, China
28. Mr. Emilio Hernandez, Spain
29. Ms. Thi Thi Soe, Myanmar
30. Ms. Khin Than Nu, Myanmar

Left- Mataji giving Metta in the newly built meditation-hall of Dhamma Vipula Vipassana center in Navi Mumbai on 17th May 2015.

 

Right – Mataji planting the Maitreya Bodhi-tree in Dhama Vipula campus on 17th May 2015. 

Respected Mataji Visits at Dhamma Vipula, Navi Mumbai

On the 17th of May, 2015, Respected Mataji visited Dhamma Vipula Vipassana Center, Belapur, Navi Mumbai and gave metta in the Dhamma-hall newly built on the first floor. Mataji then planted the Maitreya Bodhi-tree on the campus. Respected Guruji had laid the foundation of the Pagoda earlier, which is still under construction. This Center and Pagoda situated on Parasika Hill can be seen from the Mumbai-Pune highway. This center will certainly provide benefit for many in acquiring merits of Dhamma. Contact- Tel. 022-27522277, 9321919666 Email:dhammavipula@gmail.com,

V.R.I. research project topics:

(1)Vipassana as found in the words of saints (santavani me Vipassana), (2) Elements of Ayurveda as found in Tipitaka. (3) Transformation through Vipassana, then and now. If anyone has done work on these topics or wishes to contribute towards these projects, he/she is welcome. Contact: E-mail: mumbai@vridhamma.org; Tel.: +91-22-33747560.

Edited and published by R. P. Yadav for VRI, Igatpuri-422 403 and printed at Akshar Chitra Press, 69, B-Road, Satpur, Nashik-422 007
2 June, 2015

 

Posted at Igatpuri, Dist. Nashik, Posting Day: Purnima of every month
WPP POSTAL LICENCE NUMBER – AR/TECHNO/WPP-04/2015-2017

 

REGISTERED NO. NSK/232/2015-2017